Hands-On Preview of Conquest: A Blend of Vampire Survivors, Cosmic Horror, and Conan the Barbarian

The first time I tried this whole ritual thing, it was going so swell… until, bam, this huge guy with two of those morningstars — you know, those spiky things — came at me swinging like a clock on steroids. I’m talking deadly twelve and six o’clock here. I was so clueless, playing as this Barbarian dude. Not like I had any real idea what I was doing. My dodges? Total fail. Up until that moment, though, I had been holding my own until… poof, all my lives, gone. Thought I’d mastered something, maybe upgraded a little. Time for round two, I guessed.

So, Conquest Dark, right? It’s like it’s taken a leaf from Vampire Survivors but then went, “Nah, let’s add more.” Like Conan met cosmic horror genre in a, let’s say, dimly lit nightclub. People look like they could bench a car, yet they start nearly naked. Typical. But it’s intriguing — some story about this ominous Black Planet appearing ages ago, and humanity barely hanging by a thread. Just chunks and pieces, you know? There’s Kharathia, this legendary city, humanity’s last chance. Everyone, from heroes to scoundrels, dives into these Dark Rituals trying to salvage something from this cosmic mess.

Anyway, exposition isn’t this game’s forte. Chunks of text here and there; blink and you might miss it. There are these bosses like Lord Commander Urien outside Kharathia — I’m curious, who was he before? A good guy once, maybe? Then there’s Witch Smeller Mzawi — what a name, right? Smelling witches sounds odd, yet intriguing. Each new place keeps me wondering. “What’s this Black Planet anyway?”

Oh, so this game, in all its simplicity, gets you to pick a spot on a map and starts this Dark Ritual thing. You get to pick from a trio of characters — or just reroll until something speaks to you. At first, you’re stuck with only Humans — Hunters or Barbarians. Raise your eyebrows, but hold on, there’s more on the way. Like a Thief, sneaky-type, or an Oathkeeper. Sounds all paladin-y, huh?

But hey, let’s rewind. The Hunter is all nimble and quick, bows blazing, while the Barbarian, well, likes it up close and personal. They come with peculiar perks. Maybe it’s some extra health, or a crit chance bonus that could just define them — and no qualms about swapping things up if it doesn’t feel right the first time.

Picked your champion? You get this origin story thingy. Choices here matter big time. Want Heavy Armor and tons of health? Go “Veteran of the War.” Taking a stab at something ranged? “Hunter’s Apprentice” might be your thing. And it doesn’t stop there; tailoring choices for classes creates this multi-class feel. It’s cool like that — sudden options, unexpected pairings.

Fast forward a bit, and whammo, you’re out there smacking undead like it’s nobody’s business until you stumble upon the first major decision: your weapon. Seems trivial, right? It’s not. There’s finesse to realize. So much of it’s about dodging in this game — not attacking manually, mind you. It’s a wherever-you-are-when-it-hits sort of deal. The positioning here becomes this meditative focus session. I’m probably getting carried away but, seriously, you’d feel it too.

Oh, and bleeding! Never quite saw that coming. The more you bite the dust, the faster you lose health. Morbid, yet genius. Keeps you on your toes. So, you adapt. No cowering allowed, keep an eye on that health bar, those poor, doomed lives. Keeps the thrill alive, that’s for sure!

Whatever happens — success, defeat, existential dread — life goes on. Unlock stuff, maybe head to the Stygian Archive or fairs subbing crystals into more damage. Really, there’s this whole upgrade and faction system that’s weirdly addictive. Succeed or fail; you’re back for another round — rinse, repeat.

Honestly, Conquest Dark makes you learn on the go. There’s a guide if bookworming’s your thing, but real play is where the learning happens. The more you see — more the wheels spin: “What if this? How about that?” Gets you pondering and engaged, looking at classes like little puzzle pieces gnawing away at your curiosity.

So, here I am, thinking about my next go after hours in Conquest Dark, wondering, plotting. This game won’t fully explain itself upfront, it lets your brain do the heavy lifting. It’s an understated dance of life, death, and, yeah, upgrades thrown into the mix. Quite the spicy recipe — if only to see how far one can push before the proverbial lights go out.